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Living a Real Life Newsletter, Issue #001 -- 21 Ways to Improve Your Life Right Now
June 23, 2015
Living a Real Life Newsletter: Issue #1 -- 21 Ways to Improve Your Life Right Now
This is a dirty, sleazy, grimy list. Whether these things will work for you and how well depends on your current situation, your present level of awareness most of all. How and where you apply these matters.
That being said, you can consider this as a sort of reference sheet, or personal development toolkit. If you’re unsure of how to approach a problem in your life you can look back here and see which solution appeals to you most at present.
These aren’t necessarily brainless or easy—in fact, more than a few of them are not. Does that mean you shouldn’t try? Well, I’ll leave that one up to you. Just read, brother.
1. Courage. What scares you most right now? Muscle up and go take it on. If you’ve been struggling with something for a while- particularly a skill- try to put your goals aside for a moment. Forget about how fast or far you can go: instead, just go. Aim to complete your task courageously: be beat-up and able rather than unscathed and unable. Being able to do something is better than holding back until you magically reach perfection.
Courage tends to translate to, though is not quite the same thing as, “massive action.” Courage will likely lead you to take action, but courage-based action tends to be more focused (e.g. on a fear) than taking an overwhelming barrage of all possible actions in the hope of getting a result. But, hey—that sounds like fun too!
Subselves aren’t pre-encoded, but you don’t totally conjure them up, either. If you ask, “Who’s in there?” and allow your imagination to go about its business something will probably come up pretty quickly.
It is key to notice which subselves dominate and how certain subselves interact with one another. If there is some sort of Guardian which blocks access to the Scared Child you may have some emotional issues you’ve been denying and need to deal with.
If you’re at the point where you can have organized Board Meetings rather than dysfunctional family gatherings you may want to point out 4-6 key subselves who you will “guide” through discussion as you think through different situations. If you are not at this point, your subselves will promptly show you the issues they’re dealing with and the conflicts raging between one another.
P.S. Don’t worry about this being an exercise in schizophrenia or dissociative disorders: if you did #3 you know it’s perfectly healthy to imagine yourself in the future, even though that person doesn’t exist in physical reality. This simply is a way of organizing yourself into different pieces and then analyzing those pieces.
I like to go to in the woods of the local town park and find two steep, dirt hills. I slide down one, grabbing on to trees to balance myself, and I usually land in a stream. I get a running start on the next hill if I can, and I then get down on all fours and climb up the hill as hard and fast as I can, grabbing tree roots and rocks along the way. This is a fast, intense, focused exercise: just a few minutes of this can help me to feel awesome. Plus, it’s fun!
Your purpose is based on your core beliefs about life. If you believe that life is pointless, then it will logically follow that you have no purpose. If you believe that all humans are connected by one metaphysical entity (perhaps such as consciousness) then it will logically follow that your purpose is to contribute positively to humanity. There are no right or wrong answers here—only what you believe. No one can determine your purpose but you.
It will help to write out a life purpose statement, but remember that the words are only a representation of the purpose and not the purpose itself. Still, every word is worth a goldmine here: make sure you know exactly what each word means for you. Get some help from #2 and #8 and make sure that the words feel right to you: a purpose that does not move you emotionally is not your purpose. Generally, thinking about your purpose will help you feel reassured and inspire you to take action, even if that consists of planning for action.
Remember that your purpose can and will be changed over time. Don’t worry about getting it perfect on the first try: this can be hard work if your head has been filled with plenty of silly beliefs about reality. In addition, what you value will become clearer over time. Just start with what seems right for you to pursue now, even if you aren’t totally sure of whether it will remain correct for the rest of your life.
This is a helpful technique to use when talking to your future self, in #3. This is also useful prior to and during meditation, particularly if you are attempting to help part of your body heal. Place your attention in your heart and, from there, connect with the sick or injured part of yourself. Feel love flow throughout your body.
Don’t worry about this being fluff-filled and hokey: you will feel it happening—you don’t have to conjure up too many images in your mind. This is far superior to visualization by itself—even for goal-setting. When you visualize yourself achieving a goal you have, feel in your heart how you will feel in that moment. Experience that moment now, and it will become far easier for you to start moving toward now.
This one can get interesting. Take a peek at the thoughts which hide under the surface and see what they tell you.
Whatever it may be, new input can help you to…
Get creative here. Consider those perspectives which are most likely to reflect your values. What if you chose to see the world as a simulation? A video game? A grand experiment? A dream? What if you played with the idea that every person is attached to the same consciousness, rather than each to their own? Go down the rabbit hole of your curiosity: you might find a life
you have never before imagined.
This does not mean that changing your perspective by itself will produce results. The point is this: by viewing the events of your life as ultimately getting closer to your goals, you can accurately decide, based on where you are currently, the next steps you need to take to achieve those goals. You can find the lessons in your supposed-failures and use those lessons to help you create success.
Creative observation is one way to…
If you don’t really care for useless gossip then don’t think about it—and don’t act on it, either. If something feels dirty or soul-sucking to you, avoid it. Stop feeding your useless fears: they have no value to provide to you or anyone else.
Put your attention on creating the reality you want to experience. If you create something negative, regard it as a mistake, see what you can learn from it (e.g. let it clarify your true desires), and move on. There is no need to linger on mistakes.
If you think about a challenge or something negative you may have to face in the near future, you don’t have to deny the possibility per se—just accept that if it shows up you’ll find a way to handle it. If there is a possible situation that makes you feel badly it may serve you to think about it critically rather than shoo it away immediately. Feeling badly is a sign that, somewhere, you are not creating reality wisely: facing up to the possible situation and understanding it more accurately will help you to do this better. Knowing that you will be able to handle any negative situation which may arise will help you to feel more positive.
If it’s here you will
do something about it: doing nothing is choosing to ignore it, and that, still, is something. Think of all the supposed adversity you’ve faced in your life and notice that you’ve figured out some way to deal with it. Why would you be unable to do this again? Even if you endured something horrible you’re still here in one piece. Ultimately, you will be okay.
Meanwhile, your purpose of doing what makes you feel alive, for instance, may go unchanged. It is only the way you pursue this purpose that changes—not the purpose itself (though that can change as you see fit as well).
Write out your thoughts and feelings—if you’re particularly emotionally-charged you may be able to do this for a while. Unless that method is enough for you on its own, at some point ask questions of what you have written. So if you wrote about how you’re worried about losing your job, you can ask, “Why do I feel this way? Do I really need to? How can I empower myself and feel better?” Roll with the first thoughts that come to mind, and then apply more in-depth thinking as you go on.
Writing has a way of being highly reassuring: it is difficult to
leave a writing session with anxiety.
Love, on the other hand, acts to serve the best interest of others. Whereas fear tends to avoid suffering, love tends to move toward what is desired. Love gets a lover to share joy with another person. Love eats so that the container of love- you- can continue serving others. Love sticks to personal values, and these particular values are chosen because they seem aligned with the collective best interest. When a person motivated by loved is wronged by others he tends to choose forgiveness and tries to learn from the situation.
For your first experiment with polarization you don’t have to commit to either pole indefinitely. Instead, choose one form of motivation just for the present task, and see how it feels to you. If it feels ineffective or value-defying, try the other pole on another situation. Don’t be afraid of trying either one: just consider these attempts as experiments. If you decide to commit to either form of motivation down the road you are, at present, figuring out how you can best serve yourself as well as all of humanity (both paths ultimately lead to service and self-care). So, don’t hold back on these experiments!
I know, people don’t like to think about death. Perhaps in your eyes thinking about death is just the right way to feel horrible. But it doesn’t have to be that way— not for long.
You see, if thinking about death makes you feel badly, you probably have not lived your life the way you really want to. You are afraid to die because the story of your life is incomplete. You haven’t put your best effort forth everyday. You haven’t lived according to your values. You haven’t loved and laughed and explored like you know you should.
Take this as a call to start those things. Become the person who will be full and ready to reach their deathbed. Live the life you can look back on one day and smile because you know you did it right. You took chances. You exercised courage. You expressed yourself creatively. You went on adventures of a lifetime. Now, that lifetime can end peacefully.
Remember, also, that you are responsible for your death. Specifically, you and you alone. By whatever means you are to die, only you can determine what sort of life you have lived up until your death and whether you are satisfied with that life. If there is an afterlife whereby consciousness continues, the way that consciousness goes out is up to you. Maybe it won’t be your fault when you die, but whether the life that is ended was a mediocre one is all on you. Choose wisely.
While you can begin implementing any one of these right now they all are meant to contribute to long-term change. In fact, some of these are best attended to over a long period of time, such as working toward your purpose. But, hey: what sort of tools would only create momentary changes, anyway?
Remember that not all solutions work all the time. What worked once in one situation may not work in a later, similar situation. Count on things being different in the future.
Still, don’t get discouraged: there is a solution to EVERY problem (except for a few really weird math problems). The solution may consist in redefining the problem until it is not one at all (that’s #12 for ya). The solution may require you to use a multitude of tools or to come up with new ones entirely. As long as you keep trying and you keep trying different things, you should eventually prevail—even if “prevail” turns out to mean something different than it does to you right now.
Do whatever it takes, my friend. There is a way.
I have written a few articles related to these tools. To see those you can head over to Kimwrate.com and look up the following (use the Google custom search bar or look through the Archives) or copy and paste the links into the address bar:
Be Yourself Unapologetically: future self-- http://www.kimwrate.com/Be-Yourself-Unapologetically.html
Shut Up and Take the Journey: heart; owning your death-- http://www.kimwrate.com/Shut-up-and-take-the-journey.html
How Do You Shine?: heart -- http://www.kimwrate.com/How-Do-You-Shine.html
Building Trust with the Universe: purpose; death -- http://www.kimwrate.com/Building-Trust-with-the-Universe.html
The Search for Meaning: purpose -- http://www.kimwrate.com/The-Search-For-Meaning.html
Do You Really Have to Do That?: purpose, polarization -- http://www.kimwrate.com/Do-you-really-have-to-do-that.html
Belief Experimentation: purpose, polarization -- http://www.kimwrate.com/Belief-Experimentation.html
Enemies of Consciousness: polarization -- http://www.kimwrate.com/Enemies-of-Consciousness.html
Belief Experiment #1: Unconditional Safety: polarization; death -- http://www.kimwrate.com/Belief-Experiment-Unconditional-Safety.html
Podcast Episode Three: Thinking Better Thoughts: talk with others; write; new input -- http://www.kimwrate.com/Podcast-Episode-Three.html
Belief Experiment #6: Courage is the Best Tool: courage -- http://www.kimwrate.com/Belief-Experiment-Courage.html
Belief Experiment #7: I Create Reality: creating reality -- http://www.kimwrate.com/Belief-Experiment-I-Create-Reality.html
If you want to get in touch with me please use the Contact form on my website.
Thank you! May you live a real life!
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