My interest in personal growth began in early 2013, when I was an anorexic, severely depressed 16 year old (boy oh boy, does that sound like a recipe for disaster). In my mid-teens, I found life to be difficult and overwhelmingly painful. It wasn’t due to anything particular in my reality. Rather, it seemed that reality as a whole simply desired to be cruel, and that life was made for suffering.
However, even as I neared rock bottom, ready to end an apparently pointless life, life did not cease to fascinate me—at least, not completely. I managed to hang on to a shred of hope, which laid in a single question: What if there is more to be seen here?
Before long, I finally allowed that question to overturn my rigid, limited ideas about life, and I was led on an adventure to see and to live life anew. That adventure continues today, and this website is an outgrowth of it.
In the last 3 years, I have experienced this reality as being quite intelligent. It is not an unforgiving slave master, but an unending landscape to be explored—one that is very good about supporting my explorations. Whatever I seek to explore, reality provides. Whenever I seek to understand reality more fully, I am met with just the conditions needed to change my ideas about it.
Life has yet to do me wrong. Even when I suffered intensely, life did not release me from its hold. Never have I truly been broken.
Life still can be scary sometimes, but never for long. In my eyes, this reality is fundamentally loving. This means that I am free, and can do as I choose to—not without consequence, but without threat to the core of my well-being.
My ideas about life have enabled me to explore in ways that are sometimes considered as difficult or dangerous, such as by running ultramarathons, writing books, and sleeping for 3 hours per day. Experiences such as these, for me, are part of a life that is exciting and fulfilling.
Overall, my intentions are to use this website to clarify and play with my ideas about and experiences of life, and to share them with others (that means you!). I’m not trying to change the world, but instead am keeping my piece of it perpetually awesome. You are welcome to be as much or as little a part of that world as you choose.
The purpose of my life is to grow courageously, love fully, and live intelligently. This means that I aim to continuously challenge my relationship to life, to see and accept reality as it truly is, and to live by my own, most deliberate choices.
At present, I live in New York State, and I run quite a lot. If your car, house, or pedestrian-legs happen to end up in my path, say hi to me.