My interest in personal growth began in early 2013, when I was a depressed 16-year-old. In my mid-teens, I found life to be difficult and overwhelmingly painful. It wasn’t due to anything particular in my reality. Rather, it seemed that reality as a whole simply desired to be cruel, and that life was made for suffering.
However, even as I neared rock bottom, ready to end an apparently pointless life, life did not cease to fascinate me—at least, not completely. I managed to hang on to a shred of hope, which laid in a single question: What if there is more to be seen here?
Before long, I finally allowed that question to overturn my rigid, limited ideas about life, and I was led on an adventure to see and to live life anew. That adventure continues today, and this website is an outgrowth of it.
In the last seven years, I have experienced this reality as being quite intelligent. It is not an unforgiving slave master, but an unending landscape to be explored—one that is very good about supporting my explorations. Whatever I seek to explore, reality provides. Whenever I seek to understand reality more fully, I am met with just the conditions needed to change my ideas about it.
Life has yet to do me wrong. Even when I suffered intensely, life did not release me from its hold. Never have I truly been broken.
Life still can be scary sometimes, but never for long. In my
eyes, this reality is fundamentally loving. This means that I am free, and can
do as I choose to—not without consequence, but without threat to the core of my
well-being. More importantly, I believe that love, by definition, is the force for self-realization. Everything that exists and everything that happens is for the sake of becoming what I am (and all things are) meant to be, and the task is to continually recognize that and act in accordance with it.
Overall, my intention is to use this website to clarify
and challenge my ideas about and experiences of life, and to share them with
The basic guideilnes of my life are to grow courageously, love fully, and live intelligently. This means that I aim to continuously challenge my relationship to life, to see and accept reality as it truly is, and to live by my own most deliberate choices.
At present, I live in New York State, and I run quite a lot. If your car, house, or pedestrian-legs happen to end up in my path, say hi to me.