The following is the 28th e-mail message I received from Brian Harner, and the 51st message of our conversation. It was sent on September 16 2020 at 12:56AM.
A lot happened today. I apologize for not responding to your first reply, but I've been stressed to the max regarding a few things. It's interesting when this happens in real time because you're dead on the money accurate. I made a decision earlier about the new Judas, and his mother, the older reincarnated Judas. It appears as though they are trying to turn everyone here against me by berating and insulting me behind my back at every opportunity. I'm officially giving up on them. This is a first for me. No matter how badly people have crossed me, I held back my official report from my superiors in the hopes that they would rectify their situation, and I wouldn't have to turn my back on them in real life. It seems as though I'm not as perfect as you thought. I'm not seeking vengeance, but I am giving up on those two individuals. The amount of stress this has put me through made me cry today. My prayers have been sorrowful and pathetic. I can't help but to feel like a failure. Once again, I am begging for death.
My sorrow is not based on the Judases, though. It's based on you, and everyone else that has tried so hard to help me pull through. I am actually crying as I write you this message, right now. I haven't been completely honest about my intentions. I did give you a quick rundown on what I was doing with the money you gave me, but I wasn't totally honest about it. After selling the first egg, I've been spending the money from it to gather the remaining materials for building the grail, not your money. Your money has been sitting in my account waiting for an opportunity. An opportunity to give it back to you before I leave this place, that is. I was never really okay taking money from you or anyone else as charity, but I talked myself into accepting it because you were so persuasive and gave me real hope that I hadn't felt in a while. It seems as though living here has forced me to absorb a considerable amount of negative energy while trying to get Robert to turn his situation around. All I can say again, is that I'm sorry. It seems unfair to everyone else that does care. I know how many of you wanted an opportunity to get to know me in person, and the family that actually did get that, threw it all away. I cannot change what has already occurred, but I can pay back those who have paid into this mission while I was subjected to such a handicap, and that is exactly what I will do. I'm still going to try and wait this sand delivery out, and complete the grail before I leave, but after today, I'm not sure if that is an option anymore.
It's too long and complicated to explain right now, and I'm not in the mood to try. All I can say is that I've laid a proverbial egg in the mind of one of Judas' orbiters, and I expect my residence here will end no later than this weekend as a result. Maybe the sand will make it here before then, but it took quite a while the first time, and if that is an indicator, it won't make it. The really interesting part was the immediate response to my prayers from all of you. Your latest email, Emily texting me right after I first started to cry, Shane and Nathan wondering what I was up to randomly... It's like you can all feel it. I can't tell you how happy I am that you have all made contact with your maker. I wasn't under the impression that I would save everyone in humanity, even though that was what I was trying to do. At least some of you got to experience real love on some spectrum. I do not think your maker would have pushed you to write that last reply if you hadn't. I'm happy for you, but I am also sorry that I haven't been capable of assembling a larger team/family. Other priorities have consumed my attention, and again, all I can say is I'm sorry.
I also don't want you to think I'm giving up. However, the writing is on the wall, and I'm just trying to be honest about what is happening minute by minute. I'm going to take a break from writing these mails and posting on 4chan until I have a better idea about what will happen next. As it stands now, I don't think any human alive has prayed as much as I have, but that will multiply tremendously for a while. The only way for me to pray correctly is if I am alone, so that is what I will do. If I get an answer or something changes to our collective benefit, I will make contact as soon as possible. For now though, my emotions are getting the best of me. Robert was a friend. Turning my back on him completely is something I was not expecting to do. Sadness has taken over all other emotions I have right now, and you deserve better than that. I don't even want you to have to read this shit right now, but nevertheless, you deserve to know why I'm doing what I'm doing. Jesus was a lot better at this kind of shit than I am. When I get sad, real anger starts to creep in as a result. None of you should have to deal with me in that way, so I must take a break as to not inundate your psyche with any more than what you're already going through.
Don't worry. I'm pretty sure this isn't the last time I will speak to you directly, if I have anything to say about it, anyways. Please do not send me any more money. I'll just send it back. Thank you for putting in so much effort to my mission, young lady. I'll continue to do whatever I can to help you in life, and after. "1" consolation is that I made the decision to go on a sort of farewell tour when/if the grail gets finished. If you want my advice, pray that that happens. I'll bring it right to you. Keep up the good work. I'll talk to you soon, my friend.