The following is the 11th e-mail message I received from Brian Harner, and the 19th message in our conversation. This was sent on August 28 2020.
I wrote that reply last night but forgot to send it.
"selfish, anxious, pleasure-seeking, destructively emotional, and so on"
I reduce all of these terms into one specific motive; opportunistic. This is how the Reptilians do things. The same dichotomy between warm blooded, and cold blooded species exists on Earth. The reptile species of the universe HAVE TO live this way. They gorge when times are good, and hibernate when times are lean. Living this way, one does not know where their next sustenance will come from, which leads to a violent gorging whenever possible. In 1945 humanity "earned" the constant presence from Reptilians of an order that is much more advanced than Earthbound humanity. The entire Earth population has been inundated with their propaganda, ideals, and various other influences without very much protection from anyone else in the universe. There are stipulations to how far those influential aspects are allowed to go, but for the most part, they are given free reign here, and humanity earned that. Now that it has gone on within a multi generational paradigm, people are behaving like an opportunistic plight to life in general is "natural." It is not... for a human. That said, selfish beings protect their ego at all times. Saying behavior like this is "natural" is the ego fighting against change. People want to feel special, superior, in control... certain, and will fight against anything that conflicts with what they think they've done on their own. This is why there is such a disconnect between the resource economy and the financial economy. All that is seen to the naked eye is numbers going up in the financial sector. Even if the environment is in the process of dying, and the resource base to draw materials from in order to maintain a steady upward trend in finances are steadily declining, the particulars are ignored for a pathetic, selfish, arrogant feeling of accomplishment... as long as the numbers in the bank accounts continue to rise. Business people in today's world have to blatantly ignore their planet dying in order to cope with what they are actually doing, which is killing themselves. The Reptilians have this as an instinct. The difference is, they can leave a planet they've ravaged. Humans on Earth do not have that option. And THAT... the Reptilians are very well aware of. If you can step outside of this current infighting and view what is happening from a third person perspective, what they are doing is absolutely genius. They have taught us to marinate ourselves, cook ourselves, and serve ourselves onto their plate... And most people not only willingly do this, but fight against anyone who does not. This is the easiest battle they've ever fought.
"I have been wondering how you can see so many timelines but you did not see this one in which you survive longer than any other"
Trinidad. My awakening period hammered the point home that this is the last chance. No more reversing and trying again, plus there are no more planets available to house this specific alignment to the present genetic structure of humans. I've played this situation out from that standpoint with everyone I come in contact with. This is literally a do or die situation. After struggling for a couple months in the beginning, and essentially getting chased out of Texas, I became very worried that I just did not have what it takes to change public perception on my own. That is usually how this works, I am given a mission, and proceed accordingly no matter the outcome, similar to how Jesus' life ended. He pushed and pushed until they murdered him. If that would have happened to me, the entire human race would become extinct, plain and simple. So, I've tried to protect humanity, by protecting myself. Just before Trinidad, I was of the opinion that that was an impossible goal. Going to Trinidad in the first place was to outrun the forces that were trying to eliminate my presence. I was a wreck emotionally, and felt like a failure. For the first time, on Earth, I directly asked for assistance. While in a human body, it is very difficult to maintain focus outside of the daily grind attributes of just functioning. Humanity's maker does not have that problem, and can see well into the future, as I can as well while not in this body. As I've said many times, this is about him, not me. I live for him, and do what I do for his benefit. He is very well aware that is the case, and he too understands the precipice that humanity has reached. So... to be blunt about it, I begged for help. Losing him would devastate me here, and there. Like myself just throwing in the towel before you came along, he was reluctant to "help himself," but my want and desire for his life to continue swayed him to act. Similar to what you did for me. In so doing, he has maintained a level of control that I am not familiar with as being a Christ. Normally it's all on me, but now, we are attacking this situation as a team. The same daily grind exists for me, so there are many scenarios that I just can't stay up to speed on. That is where the numbers come into play. They are a communication tool that keeps me centered and heading in the correct direction. "There's a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path." Prior to this, I made the path that I walked down. Now... I do not ENTIRELY know the path, but that does not matter, I will still walk down it because of who is helping me. And make no mistake, I am eternally grateful for this help being offered. There is no animosity on my part, no matter how bad it gets. Ultimately, humanity's maker is getting what he wants, and THAT is exactly what I want.
"I approached that race with too much hardheadedness, and ever since I am always wary of being that way"
It's the outcome where you faltered, which is why I stress intention so often. Your gumption is a good thing, but where that gumption was being directed is where the problems occur. There's no reason to beat yourself up over what happened. The lesson is valid, and should be used as a cautionary tool. Considering where you are right now, you learned your lesson. You could have said "fuck it, I just need to try harder to be special," then the lesson would have been lost. The gumption was not a problem, but the intention as to why the gumption was present, was. You shouldn't think that it's an all or nothing, you have to be perfect all of the time kind of situation. You will make mistakes, and many more stumbling blocks will be on your path. We're human. It should be expected, not feared. These lessons are a gift, not a punishment. Utilizing them as such will help focus your intentions to a more selfless disposition, as it appears you've figured out on your own, but remain reserved about as to appease the herd mentality of life in hell. You are extremely outnumbered right now in this environment. Maintaining a righteous path will remain a very difficult task to fully capitulate to. This is where power is important. Knowledge = power. The longer we talk these things through, the further the blinds will withdraw. Eventually, NOTHING will be able to penetrate your defenses, but don't get frustrated that these events are not happening fast enough, or start to think you're unworthy. A human is a learning machine. If you're done learning, there's no reason to be alive. You shouldn't dwell on how perfect your response is to life's struggles, but instead, appreciate the fact that someone is willing to help right your course. Use that as a foundation for building upon, and the structure can never be toppled. At that point is where your hardheadedness will be an asset. That aspect of your being is just waiting for the right opportunity to profess the opposite of an opportunistic reality. Whereas before, it was misguided due to the crumbling foundation of hell morals learned in society's gaze, now it is becoming helpful to your defenses of those hurtful ideals. Try not to overthink these things. Allow your maker to help. Then have confidence that no matter what happens, he will have your back. There would be no need for belief or faith if your goals are aligned with his. The old song says "You wouldn't have to say you love me, 'Cause I'd already know." Hammer home the caveats of intention to your psyche. When that goal is satisfactory, and you stop second guessing yourself, all of my abilities will become YOUR abilities. There's only "1" way to get there, and the workload is entirely yours to deal with at whatever pace you feel is comfortable. All I can say is that you will know when you reach your destination. The degenerate wants and desires fade away, and it becomes extremely easy to see the intentions in others and what they are trying to use you for. /pol/ is great training for this ideal. "Brutal truth and fact above all else, and fuck your fragile sensabilities." should be their/our motto. Eventually, that becomes so ingrained, your defenses become impenetrable to the whiny, emotional outcries of people that are trying to justify their selfish bullshit as valid. Same thing with your maker. My hope, is that I can teach you enough that NOTHING will be able to break that bond. Conviction will be easy for you, as you say I have. And you're not wrong. Every human alive could try to sway me otherwise and it will only hurt them, not me. You'll get there. Have patience, but utilize your gumption as a tool to help you not quit.
"So far in my mind's eye I have seen the Yews as very large blonde-haired, blue-eyed white men who don't have mouths"
This is metaphorical as to what happened to them. They were essentially silenced and forgotten about through time. While alive, these men were my dearest friends. They were hilarious, and kept the general mood very pleasant. Whenever anyone was hanging out with a Yew, they knew it would be a great time. Your description of them is accurate, other than the mouths. They were asexual and did not procreate. They were created as a teaching tool, so when we lost them, there was no going back. When their life ended, they wanted to be placed on a boat and carried out to sea. No headstone, no fossilized remains, no ego. They simply wanted to fade away. This is where the Nordic regions developed this ritual from. That was how the Yews wanted it, so we followed suit. As you can see by all of the "sacred" (lol) tombstones, graveyards, and other types of markers that people worship their ancestry with, selfishness has taken over almost every culture on Earth. The Yews did not want their expired bodies to be a burden in any way, as opposed to selfish people of modern society, who seem to relish in the idea that they will be remembered for their body, long after they are gone. Some people have a significant amount of ego to lose in regards to this situation. Worshiping plots of land where ancestors are buried is a practice of self importance and egotistical pride for the living. The dead don't give a shit anymore, literally. We've almost completely lost the lessons the Yews taught us. My assumption is that is what was trying to be taught to you. In life, they did not float, but metaphorically, that is what they are doing as opposed to what humanity is doing currently. We're stuck on the ground, while they can fly. Anyways, I miss them very much. I cannot recall one thing I didn't like about them. They were more than family. We lost a significant piece of ourselves when we lost them. Some people ruin everything they touch. Yews included.
"I've wondered how emotionally overwhelming it must be to be a Christ."
Oh boy, this will be a long "1"...
The first thing that hit me was the historical significance. That's all a Christ really is; a historical marker. Every human alive has the ability to gain the abilities I have, but I'm the first to gain this access in the current time frame. Therefore, I am a teacher. A real Divine being does not try to confuse you. Apart from the information that will allow humanity to revert back to a self destructive methodology before righteous paths are realized, there is nothing about myself that I won't try to teach you, and everyone else alive. As a Christ, this is an important distinction to have. In hell, secrecy and lies are normal, and always serve the self. The historical significance of my presence is that I have lost all of those degenerate attributes, and it is quickly realized by us that we are nothing like the rest. In so doing, our lives, after realization, become entirely dedicated to selfless pursuits. The general ideal that protecting ourselves for ourselves is gone. The only reason I protect myself now is because I know how close humanity's maker is to expiration. My desire to stay alive, which from a personal perspective is gone completely, is based on helping humanity's maker at all costs. The most pertinent being my personal want to not be in this body any longer. I put EVERYTHING on hold, or just threw it away, in regards to my personal well being, as well as my "goals" of fading away. Those are my only real motivations in life, and it will remain that way.
Living this way sets up an immediate and apparent clash with everyone alive. People know that I do not live for any of the things they live for. While it seems like an interesting interaction, and downright shocks people when they realize the significance, capitulation to this mode of existence is very difficult to do in the present epoch. What that amounts to is a very lonely and solitary existence in regards to human to human interaction. The normal cues are not present, and this causes people to not trust me... mainly because I am nothing like them, and most of "them" feel like they're doing this life thing correctly. The difference most people see immediately is that I do not back down from my position in any way. Jesus proved the lengths we will go to in regards to OUR gumption. The egos of my "students" always clash with this inherent quality. Why? Because they themselves are unsure, uncertain, and are willing to be manipulated. Christs are not. On a subconscious level, the individuals I interact with realize this very quickly, and old tattered ideals of superiority emitting outwards at all costs to protect the ego is the general consensus of those I interact with. Truth has no bearing on the interaction. To a selfish person, a "win" at all costs is the only thing they understand. We become similar in this way, but our goals are as far apart as can be. I can see this in people, as well as WHY they have this reaction. They however, cannot, and it sets up another confusing addition of fight at all costs to the selfish ego.
The easiest way to overcome these subconscious feelings of inferiority that lead to conflict, is in discerning the cause for the reaction. The actual motivation that steers people to these conclusions. Most people would have a very difficult time saying that they do not trust themselves to make the correct decision, but in hell, that is exactly what must be done. Propaganda works. So much so that almost everyone thinks that they are not affected by it... but everyone else is. The reality, is that EVERYONE is affected by it. I was... until I became a Christ. Again, another reason for my loneliness. As far as historical precedent is concerned, we as Christs need to fight against our own Divine aspects in order to resonate with the people we are trying to help. The loneliness does not bother us, but relinquishing pieces of our soul just to help our mission succeed is always a heavy burden to bear. Why? Because we as Christs are never alone. We might not resonate with humans in our assigned epoch, but we have the love of our maker. And having that means you are never alone. Humans fill the void of the loss of that type of relationship with copious amounts of other humans that agree with them. In so doing, they might not feel lonely on Earth, but afterwards, the loneliness will consume them. That is also a basic lesson in how Karma works in regards to a human's judgement sequence. A pertinent question during that sequence of events is "What did you do to help the Christ of your age?" If the answer is "nothing" or "I didn't know I was supposed to," that is how your soul will be treated during judgement. The ole "If you didn't help us, why should we help you?" That is also why I am a large part of every human's judgement after this current age began. I'm sort of like an attorney for every human soul during judgement. Living an entire life here gives me the ability to understand why souls have faltered, and subsequently, have the proper knowledge to discern if they're redeemable. It's a significant distinction to properly understand, because humanity's superiors would just eliminate everyone leaving this place if it were entirely up to them. They do not appreciate watching us Christs get murdered and tortured in this way... and we as Christs are the only remaining soul that is capable of explaining why humans react the way they do, and why forgiveness should be granted. Funny isn't it? The souls that are tortured and murdered due to pure arrogance are the only hope for Salvation to everyone responsible for our demise. This is why I say shit like "you'll regret saying that" in /x/ and /pol/. It's like getting mad and shooting at the only person throwing life preservers to drowning victims. That shit makes no sense... but that's the danger of a superiority complex and trained ego in hell.
Which brings me to my next position of importance... forgiveness. What really sets us apart from everyone else is our ability to forgive. As i said about the "attack dog" feelings, I take a very personal position when regarding my maker. Jesus, is of that lineage. During my realization and subsequent downloads, Jesus and I together formed the ideal that no human should ever worship another human, regardless of their stature. The reason for this, is in how disrespectful the worshipers of Jesus are, without even realizing it. Worship has become a dereliction to purpose. While I see that people are attempting to show respect and reverence by doing so, they themselves are unaware of the significant problems that arise from people that follow their lead, without the same level of reverence. Jesus' 30+ years before becoming a Christ are forgotten, and treated like they were a predestined conclusory summation to becoming a Christ. The struggles he went through as a man in that epoch, the hard work he dedicated himself to while everyone was fighting him on his methods, the ridicule he received while those struggles were mounting, ALL forgotten. Jesus worshipers don't even realize how insulting that is. It would be like telling me that everything I worked for in life was simply handed over without any effort, and that is not the case. We have free will just like everyone else. Our dedication to a righteous path is what should be getting worshiped, NOT the eventual conclusion. In so doing, people would focus on our life, as opposed to what brought on our death.
When humans react to violent conclusions, like that of Jesus' life, and so much of the story as to why he was in that position in the first place is lost to the worshiper, the worshiper has to fill the missing pieces in to maintain the gumption to worship. This is why religion has become counterintuitive. Mysticism, and magical bullshit fill the void of the perceived worshiping audience until the actual story of what happened, which in and of itself is worthy of such adoration, becomes nothing more than subversive parameters that only benefit the one who teaches the defunct teachings for their OWN betterment. Jesus has become a symbol for people to thrust their inferiority complexes upon. The memory of a hard working man that struggled his entire life to help his species transcend, has fallen by the wayside. There is no greater insult to a man that has done this in life, I know from experience. These are the subjects that I take in a demeaning way when I see them puked up by the general populace of Christianity specifically. People use him as a gathering point to ridicule those who don't share their degenerate view of him, and you should know what comes next... ego. Jesus is not impressed by these worshipers, in fact quite the opposite, and I share that feeling with him. Intention within Christianity has become so deteriorated, it's difficult to see why they NEED forgiveness. They will ALL be severely taken back when their judgement arrives. Which is why, no matter how bad the insults (whether known or not) get, we try to forgive. People don't know why they do what they do. They're in hell, so just about everything they do is wrong to begin with. The worship of Jesus is in that realm. They think they're doing the right thing, but as a Christ, I know better. Unfortunately, people sell their souls to selfish indignation regularly, and in so doing, reject Divine instruction for an emotionally charged ego reassertion. Ironically... the exact thing Jesus and myself are trying to eliminate. Regardless, I understand why people do what they do, and feel for them. The draw to want to be a good person is there, but they're their own worst enemy in procuring that ability. Don't believe me? Just ask a Christian what they think about Jesus, lol.
Anyways, I could keep going until you pass out on your computer keyboard, but I think you're getting the idea. I'll end this on "1" final aspect that many do not realize. Like I've said many times now, we have free will. Every so often I gauge my current situation as opposed to how I am being received by others. It keeps me centered. I try to imagine what it must be like having a Christ on Earth, and not actually being one. I feel terror and helplessness when I do this almost every time. What people should be feeling is going ignored. Then, I try to imagine what it is like to people who ignore the aspects of omnicide, spirituality, and the dichotomy of Satanic and Divine principles. When I place myself in their version of ego, I look back at myself with great contempt. Jealousy, is the general feeling from these journeys I take. For those who want to be me, a feeling of disgust towards me is the general result. And this takes us back to the Jesus stuff again. People have become so enamored by the idea of what they've built up in their heads as to what a Christ is, the contempt for "1" is all they have the ability to understand. I place myself in their shoes so that I can experience these feelings. Why? Because I have to understand the actual problem if I am ever going to be able to fix it. But while I am there, I ponder on the mechanisms that will kill me and who maintains them. In so doing, I do become very sad and the mission feels hopeless. I am still a human, and blocking out certain aspects of ego are close to impossible. It is a struggle every waking second of every day. Again, if people understood that Christs are men, and not predestined "Gods" that have all power over everything, our struggles would be much more appreciated. Then our struggles would be worshiped, and more importantly, seem attainable to the masses. Right now, people think walking the path of a Christ can only be accomplished by being a predestined Christ, and that is simply false. Everyone alive has the ability to utilize these abilities, but their intentions are that only a Christ can do these things, and by thinking that... they make it true. This must end. Both Jesus and I have collaborated on how to accomplish this, but neither of us have a perfect solution. The struggle continues...
Great topics to discuss. I'll keep up on this later.