Message to Brian: #2/#5

The following is the second e-mail message I sent to Brian Harner, and the fifth message of our conversation. This was sent on August 25 2020.

I will get to work on creating a webpage. When it comes time to create the page on Ultrasignup I've thought you might want to put the pieces in place, under your own account, so that it is connected to your bank account instead of mine. The main thing I need from you is a decision on whether you want to do that (or whether you want me to do that, in which case I will need a way to send you the funds).

I'll clarify again what the plan is. What I intend to do at this point is create the "Arian Technologies Association" page. People can pay a membership fee to join that and also donate to that. That is where the initial, imminent funds will come from. Then, in the near future I'll create a virtual race. The point of a virtual race is that it's something people do on their own, on a route of their choosing. The verification that they completed the run comes from GPS data and the honor system. Virtual races became widespread this year due to COVID getting events canceled. So in a virtual race the other participants are not physically with you, but the upside is that such an event can be set up very quickly. The in-person race is something I am hoping for in the future. I don't want to push that off into the future more than is necessary, but it's not quite time to think about that yet. It cannot be set up quickly enough to be helpful right now anyway.

Other things.

Since there are only a few days before 9/1 happens I don't want to detract from you working on the book nor me getting this set up. However, I think it would make sense for us to have a phone conversation within the next day or two. It should help us to be on the same page. Before I contact you by phone I would like to know whether there are any rules you want me to follow, e.g. Can I text you? I find text conversations tedious so I would only do this, at this point, to tell you that I intend to call or am available to call. The other rule in mind is whether there is anything I should not say, such as any information you would not want goons to hear.

By the way, I do not have a smartphone. I have had the same cellphone for 8 years. It is small enough to fit in most pockets (unlike smartphones) and it has a keypad that slides out. It is possible to access the Internet but this cannot be done without data usage and it is a rather minimal experience, so I generally do not access the Internet outside of home (if my replies are not always that quick, this is a factor in that). It is possible for me to join group-texts: the group shows up as having its own phone number. However, I do not think I can create them myself. Most of the time my phone is off and not on-hand. I have very few communications so I do not miss much. I turn it on and keep it on when I need it.

As for "part two" of my plan, that was from the original message I wrote a week and a half ago. It was another idea in addition to the race. At this point I am not sure whether I need to actually tell you about it. I think I will do that, though it would make more sense to wait until after we talk on the phone. I am kind of nervous though I do not want to be. I've never talked to someone whom I did not feel woefully separate from in some aspect and whom I should conceal some level of detail from. When I converse with people I tend to be in an over-intellectual mode which does not reflect accurately on my soul, but I have not found much of a way around it. I find it easier to listen than to talk. I am not sure whether it is because my thoughts are too unrefined or whether I just don't feel able to share them. It probably is both. Moreover, I do not like to be imposing in any way, so I try not to express myself too strongly most of the time. I can break through that when urgency and importance demand it, or if I become emotional enough and would like a certain thought to be heard for once.

It is easier to communicate cleanly through writing than talking, and I do not want to come up short in our conversation. I am of the mindset that all talk is fallen, and likewise you say that higher level civilizations have transcended talking. Of course they have-- instead they communicate vibrationally and telepathically. Still, there is a place for talk: there must be since in many cases it is, relatively, the best we can do. It is possible to speak in a way that is totally true to the soul: it is just rarely, if ever, achieved in the presence of others. When others are present then what I express is affected by them. To some extent it seems possible to overcome, but not entirely. It is hard for what is expressed to not get dragged down somehow. Meanwhile, the awareness of inevitable perfection reigns in the background, but this does not find verbal expression.

So, with all that being said, my top concerns are that I do not want to give a false impression of what I really am nor do I want to let you down. I am accustomed to there being some kind of unspoken tension with everyone. I generally find it best to not give voice to that and instead remain focused on what is most important. I don't know whether we will have such tension. If we do I suspect it will involve the concerns I have mentioned. I am also concerned to see how I will express myself in this situation which is unlike any other I have encountered yet.

Additionally, I am used to being alone most of the time and fairly isolated in general. I will have to accept that my life is going to be different now: I have brought attention and pressure upon myself. I will find that uncomfortable and probably also sorrowful, but that does not mean that what must be done will not get done.

I think that is all that is essential for this particular e-mail.