The Pain of Love

Whenever you want to make a change in your life, or you have doubts in yourself, or it seems that the whole world is against you, remember that I love you. When you read these words, I want you to recognize that you are an intelligent human being. You do not need anyone’s permission or approval in order for this to be true, though you do have mine if you would like it.

When the pain of life feels overbearing, embrace it. Life is not trying to punish you. It would never want to do that. All it has ever wanted is to show you what really matters. Pain is simply a path that helps you to see what really matters.

I could never find anything truly wrong with you. When you try to hide from your pain, it will feel like something is wrong with you. On the other hand, when you embrace your pain, some people will say that something is wrong with you. But this does not mean that there is. I love you just the way you are.

When you fall into the trap of thinking that something is wrong with you, things will feel very difficult. You will always fear for and be fearful of yourself, at the same time. It will feel like there are multiple selves at war with each other. But when you see past the fear, and you accept yourself as you are, the conflict ends, and you can be yourself wholly and unabashedly. You can live from your heart, rather than your head. You can care about the world, no matter what it may bring your way or appear to think about you. You can demonstrate this caring through every step that you take, and every thing that you do.

You can do nothing wrong in my eyes. Sometimes you will be in pain and get scared, and that is OK. Sometimes you will want to run and hide and hope that no one will find you. But there is someone who does want to find you—someone who genuinely cares about you unconditionally, and who wants to touch you with their love. It will be painful to open your heart to this love. It may even feel like you are dying. That is what your fear will make you think.

The only way through this fear is to trust. Trust that it is OK to love. Know that who you really are cannot be damaged by anything in the world. No matter what you say or do, or what is said or done to you, the things that really matter cannot be taken away from you. Your reputation, your possessions, and your relationships may all be taken away from you, but you cannot lose yourself. That is the only thing you really need.

You may experience pain, but you cannot be damaged. When you know this, you can trust life enough to feel the love that is always available to you. Remember that when love seems to hurt you, it is simply carving away at you, so that you can love even more completely and be yourself even more authentically. When love is painful, it is only clearing the muck out of your heart, weathering away the things that do not matter. This means that you can never be in danger by opening yourself to love. In fact, doing so enables you to be even more alive.

The point is, please do believe in yourself. You have no reason not to. And please do love yourself. I certainly do. <3